dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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