Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Quick, to the slutcave!
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
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