he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
