4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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