I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Randomize
