He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
