i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
