thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize
