I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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