i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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