She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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