I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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