I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
