why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
