At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
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