She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
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