your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
