Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Randomize
