called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
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