ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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