sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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