So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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