what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Reggie can tackle my bush.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
