well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Randomize
