Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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