Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
