All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
