I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
