he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
