he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
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