If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
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