i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
