she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Floor bacon is actually really good
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
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