So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
