I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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