It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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