On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Randomize
