My brain says no but my pants say off.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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