Already got asked if we're dating
too bad you live with your parents still
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
