this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
