I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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