Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Randomize
