she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Randomize
