"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Semen is not good for contacts.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
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