Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
