It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
