Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
