they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
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