She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
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