Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I'm getting married
To pizza
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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