I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Randomize
